Posted by: Christian | October 16, 2007

Afghanistan’s Last Pig

October 17, 2007.

I found the photo below at Afgan.ru and it filled me with sadness. The photo of a Russian, his rabbit and a pig was taken in Doshi (Baghlan Province) in spring 1988. Not long after the photo was taken neither pig nor Russian remained in Afghanistan. The Russian returned to the USSR, the pig fulfilled its internationalist duty and was eaten, and the status of the rabbit is unknown but presumed to involve some sort of stew/soup related death.   

                 Pic: “Svinka, svinka, thinking of a svinka.”              

         we2.jpg (17717 bytes)

Although pigs have disappeared from Afghanistan, pork is available. Some khareji guy in Afghanistan posted this on his blog:

I had pork ribs for dinner last night. In a strictly Muslim country that’s something to brag about. Pork sausages are easy- you can ask for those at the supermarket for foreigners on the edge of town. For pork ribs you have to have a connection.

Speaking of people with connections, thus spoke the Queen’s ambassador in Caubul, Sir Sherard Cowper-Coles: 

Monday was a funny day. It started more or less with porridge and sausages and bacon for breakfast (the best meal of the day) in the Embassy canteen with my excellent deputy……Sir Alexander Burnes!

OK, that passage was authentic up until the part about Sir Alexander Burnes. But the bacon was real. Unless it was that evil soy-bacon that is being peddled by tricksters and vegans. Hopefully not.

Most tragic of all is the fact that Suidae Sus used to roam free across Afghanistan without a care in the world, providing delicious sustenance to all those who wished to partake in the eating of their flesh. The map does not lie.

         Afghan Pig

What happened to all the pigs? I’m gonna get to the bottom of this.

Perhaps someone could start an NGO that would work to reintroduce pigs to Afghanistan. Surely USAID would fund such a project. They’ve spent their money in a rather strange fashion on a couple of occasions before. Why not on the Afghanistan Suidae Sus Reintroduction Programme?  

I can’t believe that I have to add this Disclaimer: This is satire. I know all about Muslim dietary restrictions. And I’m not anti-Russian. Could anyone who watched (and really loved) Russkiy Kovcheg (twice!) be anti-Russian? Previous treatments of Soviet/Russian soldiers on Afghanistanica here and here.

Preemptive diss: Feel free to make the obvious retort about Americans compensating for the absence of both pigs and Russians in Afghanistan.


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